Someone Else's Star

I heard this song last night and it really resonated with me.

Although I am very blessed, I sometimes wonder how some find love, but I cannot.

Not that I've been looking very hard.

In fact, not at all.

I knew when Dave left I'd need to focus on taking care of the kids, getting a degree and paying the bills.

That's a lot to do. Adding dating to that list just didn't seem feasible. I had to focus my efforts on raising three kids. All. By. Myself.

Lot's of people do jump right back into the dating scene, and that's okay. For them. I didn't want to look back and say that I put dating before my kids needs.

So here I am. Alone. But not lonely.

I've got friends and family. And old Jack.

But I do find myself wishing I had someone to cook dinner for. Someone to take trips with. Someone to make sure I don't fall off a ladder!

Maybe it just isn't meant to be.

God knows what I need.

And maybe that means I won't find someone to spend the rest of my days with.

And I'm trying to accept that.

Or maybe I will.

Meanwhile, maybe I need to wish on my star instead.

Happy Birthday, Ezra!

Ezra celebrated his second birthday on Sunday with a party at a park with lots of family and friends in attendance.

It was pirate themed party.

Kelsey made some yummy brownie cupcakes.

Ezra was delighted when everyone sang Happy Birthday!

                                                   

And he did a great job at blowing out the candle on his cupcake!

Then it was time to open a LOT of presents.

Let's just say Ezra is set for toys for a while!

Aunt Nancy gave him this cute cowboy hat and lunchbox.

Ezra is a bonafide bookworm!

Reading is serious work. Check out the tongue!

Noisemakers were a bit challenging for him. He couldn't blow hard enough to get them to make noise. 

So he improvised and made a humming sound as he held it to his mouth.

Aunt Nancy looked at rocks and snails with him!

Dear Ezra,

Today is your 2nd birthday. What a big boy you are! I am so blessed to have you in my life.

I love so many things about you. 

I love how you know the names of different dinosaurs.

I love that you can talk like a pirate and say "Arrrrr Matey!"

I love the way you smile when you see me.

I love that you love to cuddle and read books with me.

I love that you like to listen to Tarzan and Happy in my car.

I love your dimples!

I love so many things about you, Ezra! Too many to count.

Happy birthday, Ezra Emerson!

Love,

Mimi

He Will Cover You With His Feathers.

I struggle with worry. All the time. I inherited it from Mom. She's a worrier.

I hope I didn't pass it on to my children, but I'm sure watching me worry has affected them.

I used to lay in bed at night with the lights out and worry. Is Allie safe in her apartment? Is Josh safe on the road? Will David pass his test? The worries would go on and on. I finally learned to pray after I turned out the lights. Dear Lord, please protect my children. And then I could go to sleep.

But then I'd wake up the next morning and start the worrying all over.

Having children has been the greatest joy of my life. But with that came the worries. Starting from the pregnancy. Will this baby be healthy? And then while they're infants. Is this fever something serious? And then when they head to school. Will my child make good friends?

And then they start to drive a car! Oh boy!

Lots of worries in the middle of all the joy.

Now I have a new worry on my worry list - Ezra. I think I worry about him more than I did my own children. And that's saying a lot!

In February I'll have the joy of loving a granddaughter. But I find myself worrying about her already.

There are so many things in the news that add to my list of worries. Ebola. Terrorists. Unemployment.

Worry, worry, worry.

I want to find peace. I want to live the rest of my life in a peaceful state. After all, I really don't have any control over what happens to my family. So I'm going to try and embrace peace. Even if things aren't perfect, they're good.

I don't have a husband, but I have three precious children who love me.

I don't make much money, but I have enough. More than so many people have.

So I'm going to try and let go of all this worry and focus on being at peace. Even in a world that isn't peaceful.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

or

He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Psalm 91

Let's Compare

Ezra with a pumpkin 2014.

Ezra with a pumpkin 2013.

Random Photos Post

Took some photos when Carolin and Meredith were in town a few weeks ago. Or was it a month ago? Where does the time go?

Pumpkin Patch Post

Ezra, Kelsey and I went to the pumpkin patch last night. It was fun, although trying to get photos of Ezra is like trying to catch a fly. He's fast!